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Spiders CARE

At its core, consent is the clear and unambiguous agreement to engage in sexual activity.

Spiders C.A.R.E. is a reminder of what exactly is expected when we talk about consent. Sex should be fun and enjoyable for everyone involved- consent is the foundation of that. 

When we say Spiders C.A.R.E. about consent, we know that consent is:

  • Clear, Capacitated Communication.
  • Always Affirmative.
  • Reciprocal and Retractable.
  • Every partner. Every act. Every time.
Capacitation

Your partners must be capacitated when they consent to sexual activity.

Over 80% of all sexual assaults on college campuses involve alcohol use by one or more persons involved. While persons can consume alcohol and consensually engage in sexual activity, there may come a point when a person is incapacitated and therefore is unable to give consent.

 
Here are some signs of incapacitation:

  • Slurred speech
  • Bloodshot eyes
  • Smell of alcohol on their breath
  • Stumbling
  • Vomiting
  • Outrageous or unusual behavior
  • Passed out, unconscious, asleep
  • Having consumed a lot of alcohol in a short amount of time

If a person is displaying any of these signs of incapacitation, do not engage in sexual activity.

This list is not extensive. If you're not sure if someone is capacitated and able to consent to sexual activity, do not engage in any sexual activity. You don't want to violate a person; you want them to feel safe and to be fully engaged in the activity so it’s enjoyable for everyone.
 
It’s important to remember that a person can be conscious and still be incapacitated. Even if a person says “yes” to sexual activity while they're incapacitated, if their partner proceeds, they are in violation of the University’s sexual misconduct policy.
 
If you're planning on engaging in sexual activity, make sure your partner is capacitated and able to consent. If they choose to drink to the point of incapacitation, don't engage in sexual activity.         

Clear and Affirmative

Clear

Your partners must willfully communicate their consent to you through words or clear actions, while they are capacitated. The best way to know if someone has consented is to ask.

Affirmative

Consent must be always affirmative: freely, and willfully given. A person who is coerced, pressured, guilted, or threatened into sexual activity is not consenting. When a person is being coerced into saying “yes”, they're not being given the option to say “no.”

  • Coercion is unreasonable, inappropriate pressure to engage in sexual activity. Continued pressure to engage in sexual activity after the other person makes it clear that they do not want to engage in, want to stop, or do not want to go further with sexual activity can be coercion.  
Click on these videos to help you determine if someone definitely wants to have sex, isn't quite sure if they want to, or does not want to have sex.

If you're ever unsure, check in with your partner, and don't proceed unless you can ensure consent.
Reciprocal and Retractable

Reciprocal

Every person involved in the sexual activity is responsible for ensuring they have consent from their partner.

This includes ensuring your partner is capacitated.

Retractable

Consent may be retracted at any point before or during sexual activity.

If someone has retracted their consent, it is their partner's responsibility to respect that decision and immediately stop sexual activity.

Every Partner, Act, Time

Every Partner

You need to seek and ensure consent with every partner you're interested in engaging in sexual activity with.

Every Act

You need to ensure consent for every type of sexual activity before engaging in it.

Just because a person has consent to one act, does not mean they have consented to others. Always check in if you're wanting to do something more than they have consented to.

Every Time

You must ensure consent every time you engage in sexual activity. 

Prior consent does not indicate future consent. This applies to persons who have been engaging in sexual activity for years, for the first time, and anywhere in between; there are no exceptions.